Life Cycle Events
Here you can learn of our congregation's rituals and customs.
Birth: Brit Milah and Brit Bat
B'nai Mitzvah
Wedding
Death: Chevra Kavod Hamet
Brit Milah and Brit Bat
In the past few years we have been enriching and expanding Jewish birth
ceremonies and want to appraise you of these meaningful rituals.
Brit Milah (Bris) ceremony is a sign of the covenant between God and the
Jewish people. It continues to be held in the home on the 8th day of a
baby's life as was first established with our ancestors, Abraham and Sarah
and then renewed at Mt. Sinai when our people received the Torah. Mohelim
(ritual circumcisers) used in the Twin Cities are committed Jews and well
trained.
A meaningful ceremony including readings and family participation is used.
It involves guests in welcoming this new miracle of life into the covenant
between God and our people. We welcome Elijah with a special chair because
he has a reputation for being zealous for God's covenant. He is also known
as the one who will establish peace between parents and their children.
We also express this prayer about the baby to his family that "as
he has entered the covenant, so may he attain the blessings of Torah, marriage
and a life of good deeds."
A personalized naming ritual emphasized the importance of linking a deceased
relative's personality strengths to this new life who represents the future.
We formally bestow upon the child his Hebrew name, such as Ari benYonatan
V'Sarah. We also bless him with the traditional Priestly benediction used
to bless our children on Friday nights: "May our son's life be one
of security and trust. May our son's life shine with dignity and freedom.
May our son's life know the harmony and gift of peace."
Brit Bat is a ceremony expanded in the last 20 years as interest in girls'
birth celebrations has increased. A Brit Bat (covenant of our daughter)
is a holy opportunity for parents to celebrate and thank God for the life
of their new creation as they celebrate with family and friends. It is
both a convenantal welcoming ceremony linking the child to the covenant
made between God and our ancestors on Mt. Sinai and renewed each Shavuot
and a naming celebration. It can be held in the home or the synagogue before
the Torah. We swaddle the girl in a tallit, praying she always feels gods
love and support throughout her life. Each family creatively develops the
ritual with the rabbi.These ceremonies share themes of blessing, and naming
as a bris while incorporating each family's creativity and style .
Mazal Tov to all families in our congregation who are celebrating the
birth of a new son or daughter, grandchild or relative. Keyn yirbu -- May
we continue to be fruitful and multiply.
B'nai Mitzvah
Bar/Bat Mitzvah is an opportunity for your son or daughter and entire
family to enjoy a major Jewish life-cycle experience. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah
involves your family and our congregation in Jewish values by teaching
Torah. In so doing, your child demonstrates willingness to study and to
celebrate Judaism with the cooperation of parents. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah
ceremony can take on lasting significance for the family that uses it to
affirm and strengthen their commitment to Jewish life.
This information is designed to help the student and his/her family prepare
to fulfill this mitzvah with understanding, dignity and beauty.
The ceremony marking this coming of age is an important event, not only
in the life of the youngster, but for the entire family. For the Bar/Bat
Mitzvah candidate it represents the culmination of a year of intensive
training and the time for rededication to our Jewish way of life. As you
make your plans and as you discuss the upcoming ceremony with your child,
remember that this day is above all, a significant religious event.
Activities planned should be viewed with the beautiful traditions of Judaism
in mind. Please consult the Rabbis if you have any questions.
Wedding
The Hebrew term for marriage is Kiddushin, derived from the Hebrew word kadosh, meaning "holy" or "sacred." In our tradition, marriage is a sanctification of life, a consecration of self to your spouse toward noble ends.
Marriage is something more than a social institution that rests solely on biological, economic, legal and psychological bases. Marriage is a spiritual relationship between husband and wife. It is the joining of two souls who together become a complete unity. The rabbis of the Talmud said, "A man who does not have a wife is not a whole person." Your love for your life's partner elevates you and fills your hear tiwht ennobling impulses. That is why we speak of marriage as sacred and holy.
Preparation for a wedding is a joyous but challenging set of tasks. The date must be fixed, the invitations and flowers ordered, the menu and music planned. There are a thousand and one details to be decided. The Rabbis, Cantor, and all Temple of Aaron staff are readily available to you for consultation.
Every couple planning to get married dreams of having the perfect wedding, whatever their concept of that may be. They hope fervently that everything will go off without a hitch, even down to the most minute detail. But while most couples usually hava a well conceived idea of what type of wedding they would like, few are aware of what is involved in bringing it about until they begin the actual groundwork.
The months preceding a wedding, while filled with joy and anticipation, can also be a difficult time for all parties concerned. It is a time when tensions are running high on all sides. And yet, it is also a time when the bride and bridegroom-to-be are trying hard to establish positive relationships with each other's families. It is a time when one's maturity may be put to the test. You sometimes may feel tempted to just run off and elope. It is important to bear in mind that the wedding ceremony will take one day in your life, while the relationships between your families will continue to grow for many years.
Chevra Kavod Hamet
Society for Respect of the Dead
Our tradition divides bereavement into distinct phases. Each of the periods is to heal, or as Dr. Ron Wolfson put it "to adjust to the finality of their loss." At the same time our tradition guides the community in giving comfort to the bereaved, to let the mourners know they are not alone.
Phase one: Aninut is the period from death to the conclusion of the funeral. Arrangements are made, but no mourning takes place. The mourners are often numb with shock and disbelief. A beautiful custom of condolence traditionally takes place at the end of the funeral.
At the end of the burial service, friends say: "Ha-Makom yenahem ethem b'tokh sha'ar aveilei Tzion v'Yerushalayim" "May the Omnipresent comfort you among all the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem." You are not alone.
Phase two: Aveilut begins at the conclusion of the funeral and continues through the seven days of shiva unless cancelled by a festival. This is a time when the mourner does not work, shop or leave home. Friends comfort the mourner by providing meals and by being there to listen, to talk and to pray.
Phase three: Shloshim, thirty days from the day of burial. There is a partial return to normal life, e.g. to go to work but not to parties.
Phase four: Shanah, eleven months. After the death of a parent the mourners say Kaddish, the hymn of praise to God, for a year.
Phase five: Yahrzeit, anniversary of the day of death.
Phase six: Yizkor, memorial service on Yom Kippur, Shemini Atzeret, last day of Passover and the second day of Shavuot.
(Ron Wolfson, A Time to Mourn, A Time to Comfort)
Helpful Suggestions When Visiting A Shiva Home
1. The most universally appreciated expression of sympathy is a hug and three words, "I'm so sorry."
2. Be open to different ways people respond to grief.
3. Those who don't cry can be just as devastated as those who can't stop crying.
4. Death is never for the best, even if the person was old or very ill.
5. Don't assume that, because there are other children, the pain of losing a child is any less.
6. Don't say, "I know how you feel." There is no knowing how a newly bereaved person feels.
7. Avoid statements like: "Don't worry, you'll get married again," or "You'll have another baby," or "It's God's will."
8. As we fulfill the mitzvah of comforting the mourner, ask to hear stories about the deceased or perhaps share such a story with the mourners.
9. The classic Jewish expression of condolence is HaMakom yinachaim etchem batoch shar avlai Zion v'Yerushlayim, which means "May God comfort you together with all the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem."
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